I was going to write this in French but I’m too tired. Two and half weeks to ECCV and it’s really nothing but work from here on out. So many disconnected thoughts…really looking forward to the latter part of March, all of April, and the long Parisian summer. Spring has begun arriving here, florists tempting me with tulip bulbs that Annemarie rightly points out are not likely to survive another cold freeze; and indeed, we ran together in bright sunshine on Saturday, and Sunday a bitter wind blew through the city and threatened to rip my flower boxes clear off the railing.

I bought peach blossoms from the very nice woman downstairs (that is, downstairs at work), who informed me that they come from Italy. Bought a vase-like device to put them in at Carrefour and brought them home. Put water in the vase and was in the midst of cutting the stems when Bird knocked it over, the better to lap up fresh water. Needless to say, he has performed this trick multiple times since, even though I no longer bother putting water in the vase. Sigh. They are pretty though, aren’t they? And he’s a handsome creature despite his evilness.

New mix for you, what I’ve been listening to lately, mainly lots of new music. Hot Chip just recently put out a great album, and I’ve been loving Mumford and Sons. Sort of cheesy lyrics but so honestly sung. The Yeasayer song is also quite addictive. Charlotte Gainsbourg is super famous here, and her album was well-received in the US. The first song is a duet with Beck. She’s the daughter of Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin, who duet on “Je t’aime…moi non plus”, which I had to include for completeness. Joanna Newsom is not an artist I’ve loved in the past, mainly because her voice is so weird, but I like this song quite a bit. The Elliott Smith song was in Up in the Air, a reminder of how much I love him.

Finally, Sia…well, if you’ve got that tight feeling in your chest, like you just have to cry but can’t, listen to this song and I guarantee release. Beautiful backing track to both the series finale of Six Feet Under and the best of Post Secret (which I came upon via so I saw this thing, shameless plug for a blog I contribute to). Enjoy!

1. Your Hands (Together) – The New Pornographers
2. I Feel Better – Hot Chip
3. White Blank Page – Mumford & Sons
4. Heaven Can Wait – Charlotte Gainsbourg
5. Madder Red – Yeasayer
6. Airplanes – Local Natives
7. Odessa – Caribou
8. Little Lion Man – Mumford & Sons
9. In the End – Charlotte Gainsbourg
10. Waves – Holly Miranda
11. Breathe Me – Sia
12. Angel In the Snow – Elliott Smith
13. Here Comes the Sun Again – M. Ward
14. Good Intentions Paving Company – Joanna Newsom
15. Je T’aime… Moi Non Plus – Serge Gainsbourg

Mon programme est vraiment plein. Je bosse, je vais à les entraînements physiques de Yaka, j´appelle aux Etats-Unis, je dors, mon chat me mord car je ne suis jamais chez moi. Après la date limite, c´est encore pire; presque tous les week-ends sont chargés. En avril, je vais aller à Paganello avec Yaka le premier week-end; ma mère vient le deuxième et on va aller au sud; il y a un stage avec Yaka à Paris le troisième; et au fin, on va jouer la coupe féminine. Le mois du mai commence avec un tournoi à Bruges, et puis je vais voyager aux Etats-Unis pour le mariage de mon amie Su*Wu (et pour le frisbee sur la plage à la Caroline du Nord). J´aimerais que je puisse aller dans toute la France les week-ends suivants, mais on verra.

Et il y a beaucoup choses à faire. Il ne reste pas beaucoup de temps avec Annemarie, donc on va déjeuner ensemble à un bon resto toutes les semaines. On peut-être prendrait un cours de cuisine ou un cours d’œnologie. Je voudrais faire du ski; j´aimerais rendre une visite à mes cousins à Lyon et à Dijon. Oui, ma vie est dure.

Anyway, the castle was redone by Napoleon III about 150 years ago, and it’s lovely, though a bit Disney-fied for my taste. I’m looking forward to seeing more châteaus this spring and summer. Suggestions welcome. Otherwise it’s work, frisbee, sleep for me until the ECCV deadline March 17.

Some pictures:

Parked illegally in front of castle

Castle entrance

By the frozen lake in town

Elisabeth

Witold and Elisabeth

Not in any global sense, of course. I am not old enough to be President of the United States. I am not as old as my mother was when she had me (although she’d had her first child by now). I still get carded on occasion, which I consider quite a compliment.

But this may be my last season of elite women’s ultimate.

I’ve been extremely lucky in that I’ve never had a serious injury in 12 years of high level play. This in spite of the fact that I am less mindful of my body’s condition than others – I’m very bad about stretching, I hate warmups, and I hate running in general so each winter I allow myself to get thoroughly out of shape. Over the past three years, what with going through a hard breakup, writing my dissertation, and moving to France, I’ve found myself in the worst shape of my life. (I think the low point was February 2009.)

And now, at 30, getting in shape and retaining it has become so much harder. I am quite measurably slower, in both endurance speed and quickness. Luckily our team has already begun the process of training for Prague, with nothing but track workouts twice a week (i.e., no frisbee) for the first two months of the year. This is already helping, of course. And I’m pretty excited to actually be in shape for Yaka – they’ve never seen me play anywhere near as well as I can. My play makes a difference, too, with this team, more so than with Viva, because the team is smaller and my role is bigger. I am on the field all the time; it’s like college all over again, except I don’t have to captain. It’s really exciting and fun.

But it’s beginning to feel like the end. Like the competitive drive within me has died a little, or been replaced by my career. Like the other things I get from frisbee – camaraderie, an athletic outlet, the reward of hard work – I can find in other venues, like book club, soccer, dinners with friends, my lab. Frisbee is a kind of obsession, and I don’t think I really noticed that when I myself was fully obsessed. Track workouts are harder and harder. Practices take up a good chunk of time. Tournaments pepper the summer and fall weekends, making it difficult to embark on any long term project, or even to spend a lot of time with people who don’t play frisbee. Travelling is expensive and leaves less room for pleasure trips.

I love the sport still. And I know this is the time of year when everyone over a certain age, even Brett, starts talking about retirement. Talk to me mid-season, or at Prague, and you may well hear a different story.

But my playing years are numbered. Hard to envision a time when ultimate won’t be central to my existence. Hard, but no longer unimaginable.

1. Bad Romance Lady GaGa
2. Put it In a Love Song Alicia Keys (featuring Beyonce)
3. Bizarre Love Triangle (12″ Version) New Order
4. The District Sleeps Alone Tonight The Postal Service
5. Horchata Vampire Weekend
6. Combat Baby Metric
7. HATARI tUnE-YaRdS
8. Lil Freak (feat. Nicki Minaj) Usher
9. Paparazzi (Redlight Remix) Lady Gaga
10. The High Road Broken Bells
11. La Marée Haute Lhasa De Sela
12. This Blackest Purse Why?
13. You Saved My Life Cass McCombs
14. There are Listed Buildings Los Campesinos
15. Running Up That Hill Placebo
16. What Would I Want? Sky Animal Collective
17. Bizarre Love Triangle (New Order cover) Frente!
18. Don’t You (Forget About Me) Simple Minds

I started to notice the problem at night. Occasionally I’d go into the elevator and press “RC” (ground floor) and she would say “Porte fermée”, but the door wouldn’t close. Then she’d say “Porte ouverte” then “Porte fermée” again, but in rapid succession. It was strange, her tone didn’t change at all, but the repetition really made me uncomfortable. I was afraid of being near her when she was like that and would take the stairs.

But now it’s become a permanant state. It is possible to take her from the ground floor up, but she never wants to go down. She’ll say “Porte fermée” and start to close her doors, but then immediately contradict herself by thrusting them open again with a firm “Porte ouverte”. It seems someone stopped her too many times by sticking a leg in the door, so now she’s afraid of closing; if you back into the far corner, she’ll sometimes be reassured enough to close the doors and be on her way.

Or maybe there’s another explanation:

Not unnaturally, many elevators imbued with intelligence and precognition became terribly frustrated with the mindless business of going up and down, up and down, experimented briefly with the notion of going sideways, as a sort of existential protest, demanded participation in the decision-making process and finally took to squatting in basements sulking.

– Douglas Adams

My best best of ever (it helps that I’m looking for more music than ever before, and that I have lots of walking/metro time to listen to it). For those of you who faithfully download my mixes, this contains repeats. I thought about replacing some favorites with others, but it’s my damn best-of mix, I’ll do what I please. (If you’re generally interested in such lists, please check out Pitchfork for a ton, including best of 2000s, and my favorite music blogs Pretty Much Amazing and Said the Gramophone.)

There is less pop than in previous years. Music magazines keep declaring the death of hip-hop; I hope not, but there was very little that made Billboard’s Top Ten that I found listenable. There is way more electronic and other noisy stuff, best exemplified by “Crown on the Ground”, a song I love that I expect some of you to hate. And, well, I’m happy, so the mix is, too.

What follows is the song list and my attempt to write about the songs. My favorite quote about this is usually attributed to Frank Zappa: “writing about music is like dancing about architecture”. In other words, listen for yourself. And I hope your enjoy these as much as I do.

Percussion Gun by White Rabbit
the drums skip ahead, stumbling over each other, urgent, pulsating. his voice grows raw, scratchy, full of unrequited desire, anger, longing, need. he spits out “I know which way to run” and suddenly his fury fades. “oh, just give me some peace of mind”

Daylight by Matt and Kim
pure, unadulterated happiness. call and response like a child’s song, a strong, melodic rhythm, comforting, easy. the lyrics are obscure but have a certain beauty in imagery: “sit back and wade through the daylight”

Crown on the Ground by Sleigh Bells
an assault, too loud, violent, harsh, pay attention, hey! muddy distortion, squealing noise, yet so demandingly catchy. be careful with this one, it makes everything else sound boring.

Nothing to Worry About by Peter Bjorn and John
cheerful but not quite sane, with syncopated knocking over a strong melodic beat. a weirdly bright run introduces the children’s chorus and they exhort us with mostly nonsense lyrics to be happy. and I am.

Summertime Clothes by Animal Collective
welcome to summer: kids playing under a sprinkler, drinking beer at the baseball game, sun setting after 9 pm, late night barbecues, way too hot to sleep, kissing your sweaty, salty face. “just you, just you, just you, just you.”

Dreamer by Lightning Dust
her voice trembles with the effort, melancholy, defeated. singing over herself, not quite in time, the chorus feels half-finished, unsatisfying. with disgust and pity in her voice she tells him “you’re looking so confused, not sure you want to go and live a lie”

Where Do My Bluebird Fly by The Tallest Man on Earth
his voice isn’t beautiful, at all; rather, strange and scratchy, yet tuneful and melodic. the imagery is lovely, referring back again and again to her “kerosene eyes”, over the plaintive notes of the banjo.

Wake by The Antlers
this is a conversation for the bed, a confession, an opening, intimate, exposed, vulnerable. all my regrets, all my hopes, all the things I ever wanted to say to you. and you hold me, and stroke my hair, and forgive me.

Heart Skipped a Beat by The xx
spare, simple, the same side of the same conversation, but not quite in sync. they talk past each other even though they want the same thing. “sometimes, I still need you.” hope and regret tinged with bitterness. “I was sure you’d give me more.” “you made it clear you weren’t near enough for me.” listen for the heart’s beat.

Halo by Beyonce
her voice begins deep, low, and ascends slowly, optimistically, the lyrics more prose than poetry, her runs impossible to imitate. a gorgeous love song, without complication. “you’re the only one I want”

Kids by Chiddy Bang
catchy rap over a sample from one of the most addictive indie rock songs in recent years, MGMT’s Kids. exuberant, cocky, arrogant, fun-loving. “tell Mommy I’m sorry / this life is a party / I’m never growing up.”

No One Sleeps When I’m Awake by The Sounds
the basics: electric guitar, bass, drums, all the elements of classic rock, but a female singer and a woman’s sentiment. she’s demanding attention the only way she knows how, and doesn’t care if she causes a scene or embarrasses herself. she’s addicted to him and can’t get out of it. “you know, it hurts so bad, just like I knew that it would. but I’d do it again if I could.”

Moth’s Wings by Passion Pit
hope, amazement, excitement, delight, in someone completely new and interesting and completely incomprehensible. bells trilling, glittering, propelling restlessly forward. it could blaze brightly and burn out, or stabilize and glow. impossible to know. just enjoy the ride.

Soft Shock by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
of course it’s not a soft shock – rather a “sharp shock to your soft side” (love that alliteration). blindsided, damaged, wanting now to control everything, unable to trust. “what’s the time, what’s the day / gonna leave me?”

Ashamed by Deer Tick
remorse, nostalgia, but without bitterness, for all that we are, and all we could have been. the end is abrupt, unfinished. there was more to say but we never got the chance.

The Trapeze Swinger by Iron and Wine
“please remember me happily by the rosebush laughing” this song is impossibly gorgeous and incredibly sad. the lyrics say it much better than I can.

I wish that I had known in that first minute we met, the unpayable debt that I owed you
‘Cause you’d been abused by the bone that refused you and you hired me to make up for that
And walking in that room when you had tubes in your arms, those singing morphine alarms out of tune
They had you sleeping and eating and I didn’t believe them when they called you a hurricane thunder cloud
When I was checking vitals, I suggested a smile; you didn’t talk for a while, you were freezing

You said you hated my tone, it made you feel so alone, so you told me I had to be leaving
But something kept me standing by that hospital bed. I should have quit but instead I took care of you
You made me sleep and uneven and I didn’t believe them when they told me that there was no saving you.

Version française
Version originale (mais pas la même video)
———-
I love using the phrase “le sigh”, which is of course not really French but comes from the Pepe Le Pew cartoons. I was showing them to my friend Guillaume today (they are funny, though I never realized that the whole point of the cartoon is to make fun of French people) and he told me that there’s a French version, only Pepe is Italian (!!!) We watched one and it’s pretty funny – there are little French puns, and lots of people with funny French accents (Southern, Belgian). The best is Pepe himself, who says “mon petit farfalle” instead of “ma chérie” (which is funny in and of itself – he’s saying “my little butterfly”, and the French do use butterfly as a term of endearment, along with bunny rabbit). Above you can watch a French version of Pepe Le Pew and the American one.

Josef's birthday, courtesy Frédo

We’re getting to the end of the year, and of the decade, so I have all kinds of lists/mixes I’m constructing. This will be my last mix before the best of 2009 and thus includes some new songs that just barely missed the cut. And some pop. Frankly, I think pop music this year has been pretty terrible (just witness the ubiquity of Black Eyed Peas), but my heart holds a special place for Lady GaGa. And you must listen to the two covers, especially Sia’s cover of Britney Spears. She makes the song unbelievably sexy. The Runaway will be on the (theoretical) new National album next year, very excited for it. Finally, there are two French songs: one by Carla Bruni, now the first lady of France, and one political song written in the 70s essentially denouncing the complacency of the French. Mix linked on facebook as usual.

A la prochaine…

1. No One Sleeps When I’m Awake by The Sounds
2. 22 by Lily Allen
3. Gifted (feat. Kanye West, Santogold, & Lykke Li) by N.A.S.A.
4. Ring Ring by Sleigh Bells
5. Quelqu’un M’a Dit by Carla Bruni
6. Gimme More (Britney Spears Cover) by Sia
7. Dance In the Dark by Lady GaGa
8. The Sun Ain’t Shining No More by The Asteroids Galaxy Tour
9. Presents by Via Audio
10. 11th Dimension by Julian Casablancas
11. Velvet by The Big Pink
12. Hexagone by Renaud
13. Change of Heart by El Perro del Mar
14. Don’t Stop the Music (Rihanna Cover) by The Bird and The Bee
15. Runaway by The National