Observation #2
I’m old.
Not in any global sense, of course. I am not old enough to be President of the United States. I am not as old as my mother was when she had me (although she’d had her first child by now). I still get carded on occasion, which I consider quite a compliment.
But this may be my last season of elite women’s ultimate.
I’ve been extremely lucky in that I’ve never had a serious injury in 12 years of high level play. This in spite of the fact that I am less mindful of my body’s condition than others – I’m very bad about stretching, I hate warmups, and I hate running in general so each winter I allow myself to get thoroughly out of shape. Over the past three years, what with going through a hard breakup, writing my dissertation, and moving to France, I’ve found myself in the worst shape of my life. (I think the low point was February 2009.)
And now, at 30, getting in shape and retaining it has become so much harder. I am quite measurably slower, in both endurance speed and quickness. Luckily our team has already begun the process of training for Prague, with nothing but track workouts twice a week (i.e., no frisbee) for the first two months of the year. This is already helping, of course. And I’m pretty excited to actually be in shape for Yaka – they’ve never seen me play anywhere near as well as I can. My play makes a difference, too, with this team, more so than with Viva, because the team is smaller and my role is bigger. I am on the field all the time; it’s like college all over again, except I don’t have to captain. It’s really exciting and fun.
But it’s beginning to feel like the end. Like the competitive drive within me has died a little, or been replaced by my career. Like the other things I get from frisbee – camaraderie, an athletic outlet, the reward of hard work – I can find in other venues, like book club, soccer, dinners with friends, my lab. Frisbee is a kind of obsession, and I don’t think I really noticed that when I myself was fully obsessed. Track workouts are harder and harder. Practices take up a good chunk of time. Tournaments pepper the summer and fall weekends, making it difficult to embark on any long term project, or even to spend a lot of time with people who don’t play frisbee. Travelling is expensive and leaves less room for pleasure trips.
I love the sport still. And I know this is the time of year when everyone over a certain age, even Brett, starts talking about retirement. Talk to me mid-season, or at Prague, and you may well hear a different story.
But my playing years are numbered. Hard to envision a time when ultimate won’t be central to my existence. Hard, but no longer unimaginable.