By wink of water

In the spring of 2003, I took a trip to Boulder, Colorado, to visit my beloved friend Lexi. She had recently moved there, part of the great scattering that takes place after college, where people end up in seemingly arbitrary places and yet stay there for the next decade. My closest friends were all following the same trajectory: move some place new; fall in love; move in together; live happily ever after. It didn’t work out quite like that for most of us, of course. In many ways, we were all not mature enough for the relationships we found ourselves in. But it was truly a golden time, when anything seemed possible.

Lexi’s love was Evan. Evan was blond, handsome, and strong, with a wiry climber’s body and a kind face. Incredibly smart, he was also very modest, and carried his intellect lightly. That Lexi, who had already gone through hell in her life, had found someone so perfectly suited to her, so calm where she could be stressed, with a sweet, loving temperament that brought out the best of her own caring nature, was some kind of blessing; a sign that life, sometimes so unfair, could also redeem and renew us through unexpected and precious gifts.

On that trip to Boulder, we went climbing, which Evan was expert in and Lexi had lately taken up. I gamely went along, even though I’m afraid of heights. We attempted a steeper grade than one would normally bring a beginner on. Evan led and then remained up top, holding the rope and spotting from above. I made it 5/6 of the way up, then panicked. I couldn’t find a hold, couldn’t see how I could possibly make it the rest of the way. I surveyed the terrain, found myself quite high, and thought: “I need to get down. Now.”

Evan was calm and reassuring. He essentially pulled me the rest of the way up. When I collapsed at the top, relieved and bursting with gratitude, I told him he had saved my life. He just laughed and told me I had done it all by myself. He was always gentle and self-effacing in this way, quietly brilliant.

Lexi took a 12 month trip around the world last year. While she was away, Evan was diagnosed with cancer. When she came back in February, it was in remission, but it returned in full force, with no hope of further treatment. She spent the last six months by his side as he grew sicker and sicker, the best caregiver that I can imagine. I don’t think I have the strength to bear what she bore.

Evan is gone now. His memorial service was this weekend. To me, he will always remain that golden boy of 24, so strong and kind, a perfect match for my dear friend.

I love you, Lex.

5h30 – Je me leve. C’est la nuit profonde.
7h00 – Je pars de mon appartement.
7h30 – J’arrive au bureau. Il fait encore nuit, mais à l’est le ciel a viré au gris foncé.
19h30 – Je pars du bureau et je dîne.
23h – Je dors.

C’est vraiment métro, boulot, dodo, mais je vais au bureau à pied.

J’ai besoin de bonne musique qui me permette de tenir. Donc, voici un nouveau mix ci-dessous. Je vais l’afficher sur facebook comme d’habitude.

1. Daylight – Matt and Kim
2. We Sing In Time – The Lonely Forest
3. Sick Muse – Metric
4. Die Slow – HEALTH
5. Who Will (Buffetlibre Remix) – Patrick Wolf
6. Run This Town (feat. Kanye West & Rihanna) – Jay-Z
7. Medley (L’Usine À Adulte / Les Murs De Ma Ville Rmx) – Keny Arkana
8. You Ain’t It – Themselves
9. Luck – Washed Out
10. Enunciation – Via Audio
11. 830 Step To The Sea – The Ironclads
12. Handsome Furs Hate This City – Handsome Furs
13. Silver Moons – Sunset Rubdown
14. Canada – Themselves & WHY?
15. Heavy Water / I’d Rather Be Sleeping – Grouper

No time at all these days to post, so just a brief note. I went to PopIn last night for the first time. Schuyler is in town for the next two weeks, and we went out with her sister Molly and Molly’s boyfriend Ryan. Silvia had forewarned me that it would be crowded and hot and impossible to move. Indeed, we didn’t quite understand the set up at first and so weren’t even able to get into the room to see the opener, Dear Reader (which sounded pretty good from what we could catch). Managed to creep down the stairs into the room for the headliner, Ramona Falls, the new project of Brent Knopf (of Menomena fame). I’ve been a huge Menomena fan for the past couple of years, and put a few Ramona Falls songs on the last two mixes.

The show was fantastic. The sound quality was really good, and frankly, I like it when spaces are that intimate. It was free, too, which is sort of unbelievable. After the show, I talked to Brent – Molly bought posters and boldly asked him to sign them – and he was super nice, drawing pictures on all five and telling me a bit about the tour.

I have yet to see a bad show in Paris. Slightly disappointed by Rock En Seine, but that just might be outdoor concert fatigue (plus, it’s hard to match Sasquatch). Missed The xx at Point Ephémère last weekend, but they are coming back to play La Cigale in February. The La Roux/Passion Pit show sold out there months ahead of time, so I should probably get tickets now.

Have some posts in the queue – about European Club Championships and my trip to London, about UIST and Victoria and seeing my nieces (!!!), and about some of the fantastic research I’ve been exposed to over the past few months. I leave you with a link to a blog I like with an interview with Brent Knopf and a song for your enjoyment.